Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Simm Simma
The last time I checked, this was bad for you.
I remember once when we were selling ice cream in my old school to support something, I cant remember what. And while me and my friend had complete power over the ice cream we often took this responsibility quite lightly. So at one point when we were left alone we challenged our friend to snort dry chili that was normally put into cup noodle soups and in return he would get one free ice cream.
Needless to say he got completely fucked, and couldnt really function for the rest of the day, and didnt have any appetite for the ice cream as well. So in that respect it was a 100% victory for us. Good times.
This image to the left has no relation to this story, but it is a good warning when it comes to drinking liquids. This man has obviously not been watching his coke bottle. I imagine this being almost like getting a nose colonoscopy, which yes, is a butt cleanse. That I kind of wanna try.
Did you know that Steve Martin is an excellent banjo player? I dont really know who I´m directing this question to but there we go. He is. I´ve been listening to an old stand up he did way back when he was actually quite funny and I found a little video to show what I mean:
I really wanna learn how to play the banjo, in fact, as soon as I get my money at the beginning of the month I wanna buy a banjo. I swear its gonna happen, Steve said that nothing can be sad when playing the banjo and I agree with him. Just listen to anything with a banjo in it. Unless its a woman crying who´s playing, but that doesnt make any sense. Thats like seeing a man poop in the woods when he´s actually a plumber AND a builder and could well have made a toilet out of leaves, tree bark and dead birds. But where does he get his tools from? This man is a complete mystery to me.
I think this woman on the right of this picture was actually trying to make a fake moustache but missed and in stead made a really weird goatee. All that while sleeping as well. The one on the left is too busy trying to finish the dish before her friend wakes up to notice whats going on.
At one point in my life I´m gonna look back at this and laugh.
I´m guessing tomorrow or later on tonight.
I remember once when we were selling ice cream in my old school to support something, I cant remember what. And while me and my friend had complete power over the ice cream we often took this responsibility quite lightly. So at one point when we were left alone we challenged our friend to snort dry chili that was normally put into cup noodle soups and in return he would get one free ice cream.
Needless to say he got completely fucked, and couldnt really function for the rest of the day, and didnt have any appetite for the ice cream as well. So in that respect it was a 100% victory for us. Good times.
This image to the left has no relation to this story, but it is a good warning when it comes to drinking liquids. This man has obviously not been watching his coke bottle. I imagine this being almost like getting a nose colonoscopy, which yes, is a butt cleanse. That I kind of wanna try.
Did you know that Steve Martin is an excellent banjo player? I dont really know who I´m directing this question to but there we go. He is. I´ve been listening to an old stand up he did way back when he was actually quite funny and I found a little video to show what I mean:
I really wanna learn how to play the banjo, in fact, as soon as I get my money at the beginning of the month I wanna buy a banjo. I swear its gonna happen, Steve said that nothing can be sad when playing the banjo and I agree with him. Just listen to anything with a banjo in it. Unless its a woman crying who´s playing, but that doesnt make any sense. Thats like seeing a man poop in the woods when he´s actually a plumber AND a builder and could well have made a toilet out of leaves, tree bark and dead birds. But where does he get his tools from? This man is a complete mystery to me.
I think this woman on the right of this picture was actually trying to make a fake moustache but missed and in stead made a really weird goatee. All that while sleeping as well. The one on the left is too busy trying to finish the dish before her friend wakes up to notice whats going on.
At one point in my life I´m gonna look back at this and laugh.
I´m guessing tomorrow or later on tonight.
Monday, April 19, 2010
You wanna what?
I´ve been listening to a stand up by Ellen Degeneres today. Its called "Taste This" and its really funny. I think she might be the funniest woman I´ve ever listened to. She´s almost like a man. Plus she´s a lesbian so thats funny in its own right.
To me The Matrix really skewed my perception of life, in a real way though. Not in the way that I think this isnt real, but in a way that I just cant be fucking asked with reading books anymore cause I just wanna somehow inject them into my brain. It would be so sick it infuriates me, I get almost angry. But then I remember I dont really read books so I dont give a shit, but I would inject them profusely into my brain if I could.
The goodbye of the day is taken from a BBQ we had the other day and some people just started doing it. Now its like a thing. Go figure.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Vomit = Chunder
Joe Wills new name is Chundertron. Because last saturday he chundered heavily because he didnt want to take some really strong mouth tobacco out of his lip. His fault in my opinion so I dont feel bad. We need to make it stick as well.
Chundertron, remember it.
We´re just lucky he didnt get violent and used the chunder to his advantage like this man.
http://content.usatoday.com/communities/gameon/post/2010/04/phillies-fan-charged-with-intentionally-vomiting-on-cops-kid/1
Imagine that shit. Or vomit. You have to be pretty chundered in the head to think up this kind of stuff.
I imagine this woman possibly thought this would be a good pose for a photo but I disagree.
I think its amazing. This might possibly be the best pose ever. Just look at her face, she´s so committed.
Last but not least I urge anybody to try and beat my score in this game.
http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=48816
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
If I would be a horse
I would be a stallion. Cause if I wasnt I´d either be a pony or a mare, and that is completely shit and in both cases you end up either shot or on a dinner plate. In both cases you get shot though. Unless they choke you or throw you in the sea. Both of which is a really hard task, unless its sleeping. And as soon as you pick it up, they would wake up. So its impossible.
But what it all boils down to is that I really just wanna be a tiger.
But what it all boils down to is that I really just wanna be a tiger.
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